Presence vs. Performance: The Secret of Truly Great Speakers
I'll never forget watching Sarah give her first presentation after our work together. Three months earlier, she had been so paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes that she would script every word and memorize every gesture. But on this day, something was different. About halfway through, she paused and said, "You know what? I can see in your faces that this technical explanation isn't landing. Let me try a different approach." Then she stepped out from behind the podium and told a story that brought her entire message to life.
The room was captivated. Not because her presentation was perfect, it wasn't. But because she was fully present.
This moment crystallized a truth I've observed for years: there's a fundamental difference between performing a presentation and holding space for a message to land.
The Performance Trap We All Fall Into
From our earliest school experiences, we're taught that public speaking is a performance. We memorize lines and are evaluated on flawless execution. This performance mindset follows us into our professional lives, where we:
Obsess Over Perfection: We rehearse until every word is the same, creating a rigid delivery that can't adapt.
Focus Inward: We constantly monitor our own performance, “Am I saying this right?” instead of connecting with our audience.
Measure Success by Absence of Mistakes: A "good" presentation becomes one where nothing went wrong, rather than one where something meaningful happened.
While this approach might help us avoid blunders, it often creates a disconnect. People can sense when someone is performing rather than communicating.
What True Presence Looks and Feels Like
Presence is an entirely different way of being with an audience. When you're truly present:
You're Connected to Your Why: Instead of focusing on how you're being perceived, you're anchored in why your message matters.
You're Responsive to the Room: You read the energy of your audience and adjust accordingly, rather than delivering a fixed performance.
You Embrace Imperfection as Connection: A stumbled word becomes a chance to show your humanity and strengthen the relationship with your audience.
Cultivating Presence: The Practice of Being Seen
Before You Speak
Ground Yourself Physically: Take a few moments to feel your feet on the floor and your breath moving naturally.
Connect with Your Intention: Instead of rehearsing lines, spend time connecting with what you genuinely want your audience to feel or do.
While You're Speaking
Use Your Eyes as Bridges: Make real eye contact with individuals to create genuine moments of connection.
Trust the Pauses: When you feel the urge to fill silence, resist it. Use pauses to breathe, reconnect, and read the room's energy.
Your audience doesn't need you to be perfect. They need you to be present.
